Ask

I knew your game. They seem that I did so I got pulled away. Now look at me out there.

Dealing with married nothing. Never married but handling some things like I was married. I just didn’t reap any benefits like you all. It’s not okay. It is not okay.

I get you live to continue your life and games so thanks for all the exclusions. That really added a missed beat to my soul. You know I found a soul tie so why did you get in my way? Are you really that controlling of a human being that the world has to revolve around your phone calls, money, and pleasure? I know what you would be like without your devices. You’d have no way.

You gave up on us. So a few, too many someone’s had to step in. You made a damn mess. What a shame. I feel bad.

Now you have someone that saw you for you who now questions your person. May she never know.

Real Talk and Times

Expression session would hit right now. I’ve seen the trends. I’ve been around those who talk about their best people they surround themselves with I’ve chosen to not carry on to your ways because ooooo weee pain and you’re messing with my spirituality by being spiteful. It’s okay so connect with your people but in that way, no, keep me out of that mess.

Although you raised me mid childhood it is not morally acceptable what you put me through. That gap, that freaking gap of time you were not in the scenes is when I started to get hurt. Where were you? Were you off with another lover because the one you were supposed to be there with was there, kind of. You were absent. Then another showed me how to be fast. Why her. Why was she the one to pain my future.

I now have to be okay with the way I was brought about from your young adult friends and family. Forget you for not being present because none of it would’ve happened if you were there from the start. But you were so worried about yourself. Forget you!

Now I have to live with a specific way that you talk to me, about me, and spread gossip like the cream cheese spread on your bagels that you purchase. Forget you.

This is How

We started to date. I felt your insecurities quickly starting to appear.

Our first relaxed muscle session you asked me if I cheated on you. Why in our most intimate time do you ask me those questions when you know it is not true. You got cheated on many times. Is that your way to tell me that’s what you’ve been doing to me? It’s true that when someone hurts you and you have something better than the last someone is bound to mess it up.

I let you meet my acclaimed friend that has a vagina and what did you do? As soon as we walk inside those doors to the place we both rest our heads at night expressing how we feel about each other you question faith most. On top of it you take your hands and tackle her into the wall as if she’s your girlfriend playing with her body right in front of me. You both laughing exchanging grabbing on each other forgetting I was there. Seriously what have you both just done to me? Trauma. I get life will show you who and what is meant for you but I didn’t know it was in that way.

You both added a punch to my chest, my mind, body and soul and they say forgive those who hurt you. So let me leave it at that.

I didn’t know I had to put up with this for years as you date me and start battles with me. Forget you, and forget her. Now I have to hear you both talk about your profound hate with each other in all reality you’re mad crazy about one another.

Again, forget you, forget her, because you both tested me and pushed my feelings around like they did not matter. I didn’t know I’d have to deal with you putting your flirtatious eyes on each other every time you see each other or you sneaking to put your hand on her legs acting like you were grabbing something from behind me while you drive. Forget you.

I didn’t know there would be ultimatums if I hang out with her without you then XYZ.

Crazy how the Lord works because I’m not dating you to this day nor am I friends with you. Forget her, forget you, and may you live with so much peace and pleasure. You have my blessing. Just keep away from my growth when you see me out there no matter who I’m with because I’d never do that to either one of you.

Him

Sighing at first. Don’t let some B.S. fulfill your life or your partners. How did you find out I was cheated upon? What does this mean for real? I’m so dumbfounded in what you just said. My anger is external only because that’s how I know how to be strong and push that energy elsewhere to move on the right way. Which is not always the right direction which is how anyone can find someone else. Directions are in warmth.

Hey sis, he is cheating on you and cheating you. I knew I did not want to say anything so now you’re mad at me for verbally telling you he-the love of your life is cheating on you. Don’t you feel that shift around you? The day is here and the sunset is waiting for you to just realize how many others planned this thing they do, this thing they do to the girls more so women they are jealous of which is send the guys they have inter course with to their most loyal and respected friends to get cheated on. Funny how it plays out in the end.

When you are the most vulnerable it seems that’s when they’ll take advantage the most. The leaves are full of warm colors all year long.

Her hair shines in different lighting. Her smile is brighter than most around, because she has a discipline that many have not seen or been aware of in their lives. She has the power to change the way her style is. She is not the purest form unless she goes through her change but she is so intelligent and direct that those around try to make her seem as if she is someone else. They call it jealousy but if jealousy did not exist it would be called a gift to endure for a lifetime. Right? Right.

You can’t keep doing what others do. WAKE UP! For that reason you are successful in ways they won’t bare to mess with. There are individuals and groups of people who try to take control of any given situation due to reasons they think is right when in all reality they aren’t always right about you. Sis remember what I told you, “he is cheating on you” in a form to manipulate his financial situation to become better. You are taking this loss to better relax to have your sight more clear and it will not happen again.

Repeated, It will not happen again. Don’t allow anyone to cheat you, ever in the years you are alive. The day a real man decides to be for one and one only is the day he’ll miss the one that was down and out for him in the first place.

Vulnerability really sets pace in day to night events. Let your pain go so you can see that he was something that experienced trauma you have not been through and the wind will do the rest of the hard work.

To you: Don’t keep those times apart of you as to they weren’t yours in the first place.

You passed all your failed tests, congratulations on your career. The leaves are full and hydrated again.

Live on and know your blessing isn’t someone else’s this is your season to add more to your love life.

Because when it’s your turn go fucking crazy on him.

~

Luvs

My next relationship will be my last,
So I’m not looking, I’m not worried, I’m not rushing…
I want this love to find me, learn me, want me, need me, and love me in slow motion, we have forever to go.

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